Journey Through Illness

February 15, 2014

The “Intervention”..

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — FrancesC @ 6:01 am

I think I mentioned the whole..difficulty with showering thing.. you know, “even the water hurts”… Well on the tearful day, two of my work friends confronted me about needing to “step it up” in the self care department.  F..U..C..K.. Really? My immediate reaction…defensive, and irritated; then I just wanted to fall on the floor and give up right there… “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to even keep going?”, I want to scream.  But I was able to really see that you know, they were right.. I’ve never been quite so neglectful of my own hygiene.  I want to roll around in my own shit, and be buried in it.  Many days I don’t have the strength to get up… and yet, I do.  Because I do.  So, I begrudgingly make a pact to get my ass in gear in the mornings.  Step one.  Talk about getting “Back to Basics”.  I swear I have to come to terms with the fact, that if it is truly time to start moving forward again, then I have to recognize that my new life is not going to be like my old life.  I have been changed over time, with the events, circumstances, and experiences that have occurred the past several years.  

I get home after this day of tears and confrontation, to have my husband also jump on the bandwagon.. well, look it, he says, “I wasn’t sure how to say this but I’m glad it was brought up today… apparently he also has been noticing my disheveled appearance lately, my closet emptied cause all my clothes are lying in piles on the floor;  He says he will help me to “get moving” in the mornings.  Part of me wants to kick his ass, and the other part feels like “I get it”.  I can at least begin to do this with regularity…personal hygiene.  It’s time to step outside the comfort zone of bit; get out of the sweats, and get clean.  Step one.  That’s where I am today.  Fuck.


1 Comment »

  1. Step One. Good place to start. 😉
    I’m with you in spirit.

    Comment by DysthymiaBree — February 15, 2014 @ 6:24 am

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