Journey Through Illness

January 24, 2014

Hearts above your heads..

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — FrancesC @ 3:50 am

Low mood today, but at a low intensity so my level of stress of manageable.  I felt solidly competent at work.  I’ve been consciously watching the flow and pace of sessions; listening more.  It’s kind of like jazz I imagine, in that there is a regular rhythm within the container of each session and yet each one is characterized by syncopation and some amount of improvisation.  I’m enjoying my work this week; the dynamics within both the individual and group sessions have been interesting and compelling.  

The party I went to last Friday turned out to be awesome networking – especially cause I didn’t realize that was what I was doing; I was just having fun without expectations.  I got two referrals this week because of connections I made.  I’m so appreciative.

And I’m grateful for the ability to move with awareness through the week, without getting hooked up or pushed/pulled off center…tomorrow is Friday already, cool.

What has been challenging is trying to manage my energy level.  I’ve shared that mornings have been extremely challenging.  I sleep heavy and wake with what feels like a hangover that doesn’t involve alcohol.  My hips and joints ache,  and still today, my sternum and collarbones hurt from the open heart surgery, and the wires that were left around the breastbone.  

Sometimes I wish my husband and I could just hibernate on our king-sized bed until April 1; magazines, net-flicks, lap top, and room service, maybe a hot epson salt soak in the tub once in awhile.  Now that sounds like a plan.

I used to be much more active just a couple years ago.  I’d been active my whole life.  This is the first bit of time where I have slumped about for several months in a row.   I’d go cross country skiing before work, or take a long walk in the woods.  I sit a lot now.  I want to feel fit again, in my body.  Maybe this restless feeling is a good omen, that I’ll begin something more regular soon. Today I did a headstand in my office for a while.  My first unassisted one, and it felt good.  Inversions just feel good.  Turns out they all pretty awesome for your health, too.  They can help lower your resting heart rate, strengthen your diaphragm, improve lung function, and it feels great for your lower back.  It really does something to your energy level too.  I felt great for a bit afterward.  I’m willing to try a few inverted poses each day, and see if this helps.  I really do want to feel better.  Inverted poses put your heart above your head.  If that’s not a metaphor for 2014, I don’t know what is!

Healing things today:  mindfulness, deep breathing, headstand, gratitude, and lots of veggies:  roasted Brussel sprouts, cauliflower, and asparagus for dinner, and a veggie sub for lunch.

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